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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1384
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 2:22 pm    Post subject: Angel Reply with quote

She lies abed, sickly pale in the morning light which should make her glow from within like she used to. The room smells of her illness. A creeping malevolent stench which makes me want to throw the windows open and let the sky in. But if I do Iím afraid sheíll fly off early. Sheís already getting her wings. Thatís what I told Meghan anyway. ďMummyís just getting her angel wings early. Thatís what the bumps on her back are, baby angel wings.Ē I think she believed me. I wish I could believe me. But if anyone will be an angel, itís my Lora. Sheís always been my angel. And she tells me she always will be. My guardian angel. That should be my job. I should be her guardian, her knight in shining armour. But I failed her. I let this horrific cancerous knot take her away. And there it is. Cancer. The ďCĒ word. Friends and family talk about it in hushed voices, as if itíll get worse if it knows itís getting the attention. But itíll get worse anyway. It will steal her from me. And I canít stop it. I canít protect the one I Love. Iím useless. I said that to her the other day. She just smiled at me and asked me to take care of Meghan. As if Iíd let her go. I could never let her go. She is a part of me and Lora. And soon she will be all that is left of Lora. My beauty. My angel. My Love.

* * *

I seem to have a perchant for writing from the male perspective. Dunno if I'm any good at it though. Let me know and please be gentle! I just scribbled this down in about ten minutes so it's a little rough.
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Erin



Joined: 08 Dec 2009
Posts: 2
Location: the Goblin Wood

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's very well writen. Although I don't think it is too terribly obvious that you are writing from a male's perspective. Not that that's a bad thing I just thought I'd point it out.
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree, it's written from a gender neutral perspective. However, I think it's very well written. It's as if it were taken right from the pages of a book, in which this were the emotionally heart wrenching chapter. Well written, in my opinion! It's easy to sympathize with the narrator.
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