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Claen'tor



Joined: 24 Nov 2008
Posts: 225
Location: Tennessee Tri-cities

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Allicat wrote:
The link is still there! On the right hand side under the donate button and above the Tomgeeks button there are six Rainbow Buttons of Wonder. The yellow one is for the forum. It's a little difficult to spot if you don't know where it is :/


...I spent a good 15 minutes looking for the forum button before going to Google and finding the forums in that roundabout fashion. -_-

After that I just assigned the Forum index to Opera's speed dial function so I wouldn't lose track of it.

Today I finally give in after 5 years and go to the intro section of the forums out of sheer curiosity to see what Asa dubs me as. Curse you, naturally insatiable curiosity!

Now Playing: My Skuchali - T.A.T.U. + Clawfinger

This be Claen'tor, signing off.
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Red is my colour. I live for it. Though it wears horribly on me. D;

I like to post my music. It's a habit. Be nice. ;_;


'People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.'
-Soren Kierkegaard

Dubbed Clan by Asa
Claen'tor = Claen = Clan
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3531
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*grin*

Today I have a ton of cleaning to do. Maybe I"ll take before and after pictures...

Last night my professor texted me asking for academic updates. >_>
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Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck dodging the professor, Asa.

Today I forgot to go to the weekly meeting for my school's newspaper. This is the second week in a row. It counts as a class. Sunday I forgot that I had a small online quiz due for one of my psychology classes--even though we have these quizzes due at the beginning of every chapter.

How do I forget that I have a class two weeks in a row?


It is a matter of time until I forgot something really important, like work or a major project. ><;;;
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TheBritishInvasion



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 1857
Location: The couch

PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nu do you have a calendar or a datebook? Or maybe you can set yourself reminders on your phone?

Today I had my first voluntering session museum. A few things have changed since I was last there and I'm on the Egypt table instead of money now. It seems to be going well so far.

Last week I had my interview, I don't really know how it went. It was an all day assesment so by the time the one on one interviews came around I don't think I was at my best. Oh well, *fingers crossed*

Not much going on besides that. I tried and failed to find my friend a birthday present today. I wanted to get her something to do with baking but I failed to find anything interesting.
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1384
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try Lakeland if you have a store near you, they usually have something fun. I once bought a friend a dinosaur cake tin ^_^
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2141
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck Britland! ^_^

#

I second the phone suggestion, 'nul.

#

Claen'tor wrote:
Nem: Are you sure coffee makes you unfocused?


Well, it's taken me four days just to get back to you, so that should give you some idea of my laser-like focus and ability to get stuff done of late. Just kinda flitting from thing to thing, writing stuff and then going, 'meh.' and deleting it. *shruggle* Most of my stuff gets written in blocks, I'll tend to have a few documents on the go at any one time. So they're coherent, but you shouldn't take that to mean I just sat there in one go and rolled them out like that.

You can generally see the sections where I've come back to something from little bits where I've come across a sentence or paragraph and retyped part of it because I'm reading it in a different direction than I wrote it and haven't reached some qualifier yet that needs to be in there.

Heck, I got distracted from arguing with someone over whether the way a girl dresses makes her more likely to .... well, you can fill in the rest of that for yourself.... and spent a reasonable portion of time writing a fairly lengthy essay on Will Wheaton and why, although he has many excellent qualities, sometimes he just comes out with this really polarising stuff such that I can totally see why some people don't like him (though of course there are reasons to dislike most people, and on balance it's not like he's a bad person.) Most recently there was this little gem:

Quote:
I suppose I could make [attending conventions and signings] less mentally taxing if I just sat there and didnít make an effort to engage people or treat them like human beings (and there are some folks who do exactly that), but thatís not how I roll, and I will stop attending conventions before I become That Guy. That Guy has no perspective, no humility, no gratitude, and while Iíve met him a few times (there are a few people who act like fans at conventions are simply meatbags attached to wallets) I wonít ever be him.

And I wouldnít have it any other way. Because I was a fan at conventions long before I was a special guest, I know what itís like to be on that side of the table, and itís important to me to treat people the way I want to be treated.


Which, though I doubt he means it that way, is a very mean thing to say that about those of us who are occasionally admired and don't want the attention, and he's no right to say it.... For reasons that are somewhat complex to explain:

Many people have this sort of personality: they think their life is incredibly interesting. That you should be honoured that they want to share their time with you. And worse: They often think that you think they same way about yourself.

That's fine if:

1) They have deep interests in things to share (i.e. they actually /are/ among the more interesting people in the world.)

2) You're the sort of person who finds emotionally charged situations innately rewarding.

Or

3) They're actually right in the latter assumption about how interesting you think you are.

In those cases, you're both getting something out of it. However, two of those are assumptions about what sort of person you are. If you're not that sort of person, and assumption 1 doesn't hold, then the attention of someone really interested in you can be terrifying and/or draining. They seem to want to offload all their emotions onto you and pry into your private life. So, you end up sitting, (or standing,) there feeling like crap because you have no idea how to respond constructively to any of it and don't particularly want to share anything about yourself with them.

I remember saving a girl from a spot of bother when I was younger - I ended up actively avoiding her afterwards until I no-longer lived in the area. Meaning something significant to people can be very scary. I don't think just because she liked something I'd done I owed it to her to be some sort of social prostitute. Not that I think that was her end of the thing either.

Fans honestly seem to expect their heroes to be flattered, and feel offended by the suggestion, however well founded, that they are not interesting people. Some actors are flattered and that's fine. But I can see both perspectives, and I can totally understand why an artist would feel that they'd given something and that the consequence of giving something shouldn't be that you owe more. Admittedly this no-longer seems to be a theory that banks and government subscribe to but it seems the normal understanding of giving.

There are some relationships that add to both parties. Many people who dislike attention are happy to talk at great length about their interests with others who have similar interests. There are other relationships that are parasitic. Would you want someone to listen to you and smile at you just because they owed it, as a duty, rather than because they were honestly interested? If you think that way, then you're a parasite. And whether someone actually owes it to you or not I don't much care, there's something ugly inside you in treating people who do things for you as little more than unwilling social tools .

#

Where does it come from? There's a question. I suspect it's an expressing of insecurity arising out of a society that emphasises egoism rather than rewarding development and maturity.

There's often a certain arrogance that goes into making an honest attempt at creation. The belief that you can make something beautiful, that it's worth doing. And in a way that makes learning to create hard. You get into art because you have an appreciation for beauty, be that efficient systems, a desire for things to make sense, or just for visual aesthetics, but what you create is initially ugly.

People need something to get through that, and there are many potential ways - to mention but a few: the fascination with a process of continual refinement, finding beauty in smaller thing or discovery, pride in self-improvement, or to be really goal driven. However, many of the positive routes to self-development can be difficult to come by in a world focused on the idea of winning. Attainment is typically promoted to people along with a fragile doctrine of egoism; unjustified self-worth out of all proportion to their achievements and maturity. This seems likely to be damaging both in terms of motivation and in terms of self-worth.

An obsession with heroes and actors and the like may be to some extent a function of that. To be affirmed by someone you admire is a massive motivation to admire someone who you think is likely to affirm you, and seems in many ways a substitute for a sense of self-respect founded in personal achievement.

I've no hard data directly on that point, but the idea seems to agree with the fact that areas of the world that are more likely to promote hero-worship tend to be those areas of the world that have massively overblown success aesthetics coupled with horribly inefficient/restrictive criteria for that success. (Japan, America, etc.) and most of the research on attainment I've seen backs me up on the idea that the best way to encourage attainment is via a process of rewarding people for improvements rather than trying to get them to buy into a winner image.

Of course that's not to say that having heroes is always bad, for some people the strategy works. They're inspired by their heroes to pursue some line of work, just as many of us are inspired by technological or artistic accomplishments. But it seems to create more losers than winners as compared to strategies that reward effort immediately rather than focusing on the goal. And egoism is highly destructive when you look at small groups with high relative social value like footballers in high-school groups in small towns....

It is to say, however, that one should maintain a sense of perspective: that people you admire are still people, and people like different things, and maybe you should consider what it would be like if people wouldn't leave you alone. Because a lot of people talk about owing but not very many people talk about what it's like to give beyond some nebulous claim that it gives the giver something (by implication worthwhile, which is really just a way of the audience praising themselves again when you think about it) - and I think secretly many of the people talking about owing think that the attention is something enjoyable; that they think they'd like to mean a lot to others. So for them, it's not really something owed, it's not a cost in the same sense that it would be for others.

GAH!

I've had this reply open all day flitting in and out of it while other things have been going on and I've just done it again >_< And it's not even like I'm strongly attached to that many of the assumptions/ideas in there. It's not even particularly well written as an argument. You can see flaws easily enough. That to an extent people are buying your attention. Though equally you can turn around there and say well clearly they're not because they're handing over the money and not getting it.

-shrug-

Personally I think the buying it argument is a weak one to make but really you should have that sort of thing in there if you can see a move ahead of time.

But yeah, I just can't manage to sit down and get stuff done of late.

#

Today I read a bunch of stuff, wrote nothing particularly worthwhile, and went to karate.

Today I think I need a break. The other folks are going up to Scotland for a week or so soon. It'll be nice to be shot of them for a while honestly.

Ah well.

Today I learned that the UK may be getting a new nuclear power station. Which is all to the good, we're all royally boned if nuclear power doesn't get a kick in the arse.

Today I notice my language is slipping. Nuclear power seems one of the more viable long term .... Yeah. Whoever runs the PR department of Nem's brain needs firing so we can hire someone a little less blunt.
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Never forget,
We stroll along the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers.
- Issa


Last edited by Nem on Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've dusted off my planner that I got at the beginning of the year, and I am going to put in a weekly alarm right on my phone right now.

Today I got one of those "hey we're offering a cool class next semester you should take it" e-mails from my school. I skimmed it and then had to stop and re-read it because I couldn't quite believe it. It's a class about Rainforest conservation, which is something I've always been interested in. More than that, it's a travel course, and the class will be going to Nicaragua over winter break.

I went to Nicaragua in 2005 (right, actually, before I joined the forum. Hmm, time does fly), and ever since then I have been itching for an excuse to go back. Looks like I finally have one. ^________________^

Today I hope everything works out and that they'll let me take the class and that there's enough interest that I can go. Sigh. ><
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3531
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 3:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Will you have to pay for the trip?

Nem: I didn't read through your whole post because I don't have the mental capacity right now to process that much text (I'm sure you can sympathize). However, on first blush it looks like a standard extrovert's misconception of an introvert, with the worst negative spin put on it.

Granted, there are selfish people in the world who treat customers/fans ans waking wallets, but that's not everyone.


Yesterday I cleaned for Pesach. Those of you not Jewish possibly don't know what this means. Also, my room is tiny - just big enough for a queen bed, desk, bookshelf, and closet, with 'hallways' between.

Behold the following facebook conversation:


Me: Pesach cleaned today! ^_^ My main room is spotless-ish and pesachdic. Tomorrow: The Kitchen.

Brother: that took you a whole day?

Me: Well first I had to sell my chametz [leavened grain-based products], then I had to sort all the papers piled up on the desk, then I wiped down all the horizontal surfaces, then I took a break to make french toast with a friend. Then I had to sort laundry, sweep the floor, mop, and wipe down the furniture outside. Then I sat down for an hour or so. Now I'm off to a chavruta, to learn and do laundry. Is that productive enough for you?
Oh yeah, and I also took time to finish a coat repair.


Look look look! I was productive! If I can do it, anyone can do it. ^_^ Pictures forthcoming.
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Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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Miho



Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Wouldn't you like to know.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today, I made it to my first class. Gonna go the next. Go me.

Today I'm trying to solidify a topic for my Constitutional Law class. I really wanna write on immigration and somehow tie that into the Supreme Court, cause well, the paper has to deal with the Supreme Court in some way.... so far no such luck... I am here. gah. I am also very unfocused right meow.

Today I discovered that in about 3 months I will be around the world in another country! The only small comforting factor is that I can already somewhat speak the language... so yay?

Today my friend told me to look up a site about couch surfing and I've started to look into... dunno how much I trust this...
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today was what feels like the worst day I've had in years.

Today I'm going ignore all of the papers I need to write and curl up and watch bad tv, instead.
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2141
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh nu', *hugs*

@ Asa: Yay for getting stuff done-ness. I do sympathise on the mental resources front. Really it's not worth the reading anyway ^^;

#

Today the parents have gone off to Scotland for a few days. You forget how much of a strain having other people around can be sometimes. A sort of subconscious pull on you all the time.

Find yourself whistling as you walk up the stairs all of a sudden. Singing. The sort of stuff you couldn't really get away with when you're around other people - at least not without tiresome comment.

The lights of the router twinkle merrily. The laptop hums. There's no-one else around ^_^
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Never forget,
We stroll along the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers.
- Issa
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1384
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 6:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hugs for Nu. I hope crappy TV and ice cream help. Sometimes you just need a day off *hug*.

Today the demolition of the East Side gallery began at 5:30am accompanied by an army of police officers in case of protesters. I have yet to find any official statement on the matter, but I'd like to call some attention to it.

The East Side Gallery is so much more than some pretty graffiti on a wall. It's a symbol of peace. Something beautiful and moving created from something horrific by artists from around the world and from people who came to bear witness to one of the most important historical monuments of the last century. I had such faith in Berlin. I had faith that it was a city which wanted to preserve its past, no matter how distasteful, as a mark of respect and a way of showing how far they have come. Berlin was brave, bearing her scars to tell the rest of the world 'never again'.

It seems history can be bought.

EDIT: Here's an article covering the removal of the wall this morning.
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Keeper of the fallen leaves. 'Cos they're still pretty.
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2141
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today did a bit more karate.

"You're still thinking of me as your friend." Said one of the older students.

And he was right.

There's an incredible reluctance to hit people. To take the safeties off and just go for the throat. You've got to feel... confident in the other person's ability that if you go there - even if you retain a degree of control so that you know the fight's not going to go further than you've agreed - they're not going to get really messed up.

I can flick the switch but ... I don't know. I've been losing some of my edge for a while now I think. I'm very fast when I want to be. To a degree where there aren't that many people who it's fair to go all the way with - and when you don't do it for a bit your progress can become a little weirdly non-symmetrical. There's stuff you can do that you haven't really worked up to speed yet.

It's a weird thing to see in yourself.

Like the man said, "When we bow, you're not my friend."

I've missed being able to just ... it's the weirdest feeling when you're actually coiling everything in and then unleashing it at someone. Personally I imagine that if lightning bolts were people that's what they'd feel like. And you can see why people used to build a sort of mysticism around it.

Eh, maybe you've got to do it to know what I'm talking about. *shrug*
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Never forget,
We stroll along the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers.
- Issa
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for the well-wishes, all. Things are . . . better? Things are better.

Most of the bad happened to a friend of mine, and I've been fretting and worrying and trying to keep her head above water all week. That hasn't cleared up, but I think we're managing better.

On the bright side:
Today I got assigned to cover two stories for the environmental center, and at some point--over the weekend, I think?--they sent me an e-mail saying they'd like to keep me on after I graduate.

Today or yesterday I finally managed to set up an interview for my internship. Fingers crossed.

However, the high point of my week so far is that I successfully knitted a sock. Its mate is in the works.

I try to have priorities for happiness but it doesn't always work out the way it should.
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3531
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Makes sense to me. Your biggest sense of accomplishment comes from something you physically accomplished all on your own, and you can see immediate results.

Pesach. Indulgence food: meat annd potatoes, and butter on matza. Mostly the butter; I don't eat that during the year.

Yesterday I went to an art fair, and it was the perfect example of all's well that ends well. In the morning I woke up late and scraped paint of my door because I forgot I was planning to meet a friend for the bus ride to the fair. By the time I noticed, it was ten minutes before departure, and I was sweaty and covered in paint fragments. Turned out she was running late, so I had plenty of time to shower. The fair was nice, I bought a couple of things including a big, slightly-damaged decoupage painting for heavy discount. At the end of the day I went to the bus stop and pulled out my wallet to prep the fare (I usually wait til I'm on the bus, but a friend told me it's better to be prepared). The bus came and I ran to catch it, and when I got on the bus I didn't have enough money out, so I reached for my wallet to get more... and it wasn't there. I immediately panicked and made the driver stop so I could get out and walk back to the stop to look for it. As soon as he drove off I realized that I might have dropped it on the steps of the bus instead, and I hadn't looked! Panic, panic, panic. Walk, walk, walk along the shoulder of the highway with an awkwardly sized canvas, panicked call to a friend for advice. Finally I got back to the bus stop, and my wallet was lying innocently on the road, directly in front of the where the bus door had been.

Until I got to the station, the day had been great. During m impromptu hike, the entire day soured utterly. When I picked up my wallet, the day lightened again. So I had a horrible fifteen minutes, but all's well that ends well. Also, I met a woman who knows an old friend of mine.

Today the clocks jumped forward, so I got an extra hour of sleep. Also, first watermelon of the season. Yum! And beautiful weather.

Shabbat shalom, all!
_________________
Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
__________________
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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