FAQ Memberlist Usergroups Register Log in
Profile Log in to check your private messages Search

Rewritten Rihanna

Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> The Written Word
Author Message

Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3541
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:02 pm    Post subject: Rewritten Rihanna Reply with quote

So a few days ago there were some ninth grade boys skipping class and playing the keyboard in an empty classroom. I recognized the tune and thought it was by Yanni, and was highly impressed that ninth grade Israeli boys knew who that was. I wasn't sure though, and couldn't remember the name of the song, so when I got home I asked Nu to look it up for me on my Pandora playlist, since she's in the States and I'm not. And she found it! It's a Rihanna song. She also asked to see the story that I came up with for it, so that meant I had to sit down and write it... so here it is.

I'd suggest reading the story first and then listening to the song, as there are musical cues throughout the story and you should know what those are first.


TITLE: (hasn't been found yet)

SCENE: A sprawling manor home, though we really only see a few rooms and a hallway. She’s either minor royalty or nobility. She’s tall and slender and brunette, with slightly wavy hair to her shoulder blades.

The song starts with a young woman turning a gold ring over in her hands, studying it. With the violins, she puts it in a box on her night table and stands up. Her bedroom is tastefully appointed, but as she looks around it’s overlaid with a childlike vision, and a child runs into the picture, the young woman as a little girl. After the short violin passage, the girl goes out into the hallway and runs along it, playing with a dog. As the young woman goes along the hall, windows flash past on one side, shining their light in and illuminating scenes of playing, with friends, dolls, toys. At the crescendo of violins, the young woman pushes open a pair of French doors to the garden and the sunlight washes out the scene momentarily. A breeze blows up her hair and twirls leaves around, and when it dies down we see the little girl running through the garden with a butterfly net, hair tangled and giggling delightedly. At the hesitation in the music, a slightly older girl, a few years older, rides into the scene on horseback, cantering across the lawn and taking a jump, then wheeling and coming back. She slides off and runs inside. The young woman follows her in and down the hall to a door that’s ajar.

At the click-clack she approaches the door and pushes it open. When the young woman looks in, she sees a vision of the girl showing something to an older woman, her mother. The woman smiles and bends down to show the girl a book. The young woman blinks and her mother’s chair is empty. At the deep tones the scene changes to a view of a young teenager in a classroom working diligently amidst a pile of books with a tutor, on something technical but not clearly shown. At the gentle passage without violins, the scene shifts to show an older teenager in dancing lessons with an old man, working through steps in the middle of a ballroom. When the music swells again, she twirls into view, a year or two older and in the arms of a taller man, and at first they’re both nervous and blushing. They dance around the ballroom again, this time smiling and blushing. At the cymbals, they’re sitting in the garden in the moonlight, murmuring to each other. Then they’re walking hand in hand through the trees.

At the second cymbals, the young woman is grown up now, getting fitted for a dress in a bustling salon, looking slender and beautiful. At the simple piano passage, we again see the young girl, sitting at a vanity mirror and playing with makeup and a tiara. She closes her eyes to apply eyeshadow. There’s a pause in the music – and when she opens her eyes again she’s the grown woman, at the same vanity, wearing grownup makeup and full wedding attire. An attendant is just placing a tiara and veil on her head, and she stands up. The women are smiling through their tears and the bride gives kisses before walking down the hallway to a set of double doors, leading to the chapel. She takes a deep breath and lets it out. The doors open. At the simple piano she begins to walk down the aisle, eyes on her groom. When the violins come in, he walks down the aisle to meet her. On the last five notes he tucks her hand into his elbow and smiles down at her. The song ends at this snapshot of them smiling at each other, and on the last two notes it fades to sepia-tone before fading out.


Now that you’ve read it, I’ll give you the link to the song. Listen to the song and then read this again, following along the musical cues. Remember the two are meant to go together, and the story doesn’t have the same power without the notes.

Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> The Written Word All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Elveron phpBB theme/template by Ulf Frisk and Michael Schaeffer
Copyright © Ulf Frisk, Michael Schaeffer 2004

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group