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The Evil Plotbunny Chronicles

 
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Asenath83



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 7:12 pm    Post subject: The Evil Plotbunny Chronicles Reply with quote

Right, I made the decision to entertain you guys (and especially the Lady) with that evil plotbunny I have mentioned elsewhere here in connection with Bel's children. Enjoy and feel free to comment.

He stared blankly at the lake before him, its water dark and dull, barely reflecting the grey sky. A thin layer of mist hovered above it, seemingly trapped to the spot by the gnarly trees and bushes lining the shore. The air smelled of the rain that was soon to come and a cool breeze tugged at his cloak. He resumed wandering along the edge of the lake in an attempt to clear his thoughts.
"Did not quite work out as planned, did it?" a hollow voice echoed in his mind and he looked around frantically.
"Where are you? Stop fooling around, I am not in the mood for cheap tricks!"
He received no answer but he noticed that the mist had started to move towards him and now accumulated a few steps away from where he was standing. A pair of glowing light blue eyes sat in the center of the forming cloud. He could only gape as the mist shifted and twisted itself into a vagely humanoid form.
"Do you still think this one is cheap, father?" she finally replied with a coy smile as the upper half of her body finished materialising and the eerie glow left her eyes.
"Quite impressive, I have to admit... to answer your question - no, it didn't, the council..."
"... was happy to adapt your suggestion, but one of your younger sisters was put in charge. I know."
Her numerous bracelets and the coins sewn to the belt around her hips jingled softly as she floated around him, her now jet black eyes twinkling with amusement.
Without a warning he grabbed her by the neck and pulled her closer to him. "Interesting, care to explain?" he hissed, unwilling to let his surprise show.
Her mocking smile never faded behind the thin veil that covered her face from nose to chin. Before he could even react she collapsed into a cloud of mist again, only to reappear sitting nonchanantly on a branch of a nearby tree.
"Now, now, father, wasn't it you who encouraged me to explore my powers? I am just doing as I am told!" She was not really trying to sound innocent.
He grunted and shook his head, too tired to argue with ther for now. Sometimes he simply did not know whether to be proud or terrified of her determination.
The lower half of her body split into several hazy tendrils which securely wrapped themselves around the branch. Snatching the flimsy veil off her face and interlocking her hands behind her head she swung backwards into an upside-down position and gazed at the lake from this unusual perspective for a coule of seconds before speaking again. A few stubborn rays of light that made it through the thick layer of clouds played with her pale blue, freckled skin.
"So what's the plan then?" she finally asked, turning halfway around to him.
_________________
Dubbed Yosef by Asa.
Because Asenath was Yosef's wife.


Keeper of Zaebos' glasses.
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Tamir



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1629
Location: Israel

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm both interested and confused. What's the connection?
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Asenath83



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tamir wrote:
I'm both interested and confused. What's the connection?

Oh and here I thought the dialogue would make it glaringly obvious. Go me!... kidding.

OK let's add another puzzle piece:

One of the guards yawned heartily as she approached the gates but immediately straightened up when he recognised her. The other one tried very hard not to laugh, but failed rather miserably.
"Good morning! The day shift should be here soon, right?" she greeted them with a knowing smile.
"Good morning, your Highness. You're up early! Indeed, the day shift should take over any moment," the less sleepy night guard replied with a lopsided grin as he stepped aside to open the gate for her and bowed stiffly.
Bringing her palms together in front of her chest she returned the greeting before slipping out of the city.
for a while she silently approached the rising sun, admiring the shades of red and orange it painted across the sky. Finally she looked back at the city that was just now starting to awake behind the giant walls her people had set up against both real and imaginary threats from outside. If only they knew that the biggest threat to their very existance could not be deterred by pathetic piles of stone...
Her children kept disappearing and only recently she had found out why.
His mind was deteriorating at an alarming rate these days, all he seemed to care about was how to get access to the soulstone keepers. While he never fully explained to her what he wanted them for, she had a pretty good idea of the plan. Not that she cared too much about the fate of the other planets, but the thought of her children being tortured in his hidden laboratory made her sick. It had to stop. Her children had grown dramatically weak within only a few generations and now she was the only one standing between them and their demented creator and yet she felt her influence on him fade.
She turned away from the city and looked up at the few remaining stars that twinkled where the sun had not quite touched the sky yet. Falling into deep meditation she dissipated into a blanket of haze that slowly spread across the meadows around her. She had been in this state for most of the past centuries, ever since she had discovered that it dramatically slowed down her aging process and helped her improve and channel her powers.
When she felt that the moment was right she reached out for the stars above to ask them for help and to warn them of her "father's" sinister plans. But just as she thought she was getting their attention her mind clouded, despite all her desperate attempts to remain focused. She felt as if she was falling for what seemend an eternity, then found herself trapped in complete darkness and silence. All thought and emotion drain away from er and then she felt... nothing.
"Ah, my poor, misguided daughter..." he murmured, studying the now sealed flask in his hands. "How do you like the latest creation from my laboratory? Did you know shaytanite is the only material capable of containing a jinn?" He chuckled gleefully. "Sorry my dear, I cannot hear you. Nor can anyone else. Do not worry though, your powers shall not be wasted..."
With one last look at the fading stars he left, his cloak barely touching the grass underneath him.
_________________
Dubbed Yosef by Asa.
Because Asenath was Yosef's wife.


Keeper of Zaebos' glasses.
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Asenath83



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was so quiet in the room you could have heard a pin drop. The numerous computer screens reflected the scientists' tense and tired faces as Bahadir carefully brought the laser into position. A light behind them flickered every now and then.
The next few moments would either be the moment of their greatest success or the worst failure in the Resistance's history. They had been working towards this moment for generations now without even really knowing what they were looking for. Some had deemed them insane for infiltrating the New Ahriman Order to search for a legendary artifact.
Now that they finally had it they didn't really know what to do with it. They tried not to think about the possibility that it could be a clever trap set up for the Resistance. The senior members had identified the ancient symbols on the artefact as long-forgotten spells. They had run the flask through various tests and were still none the wiser about its contents, so they had to take the risk now. The Order was up to something and they would not stand there and wait.
Bahadir checked the set-up on his screens one last time and nodded approvingly. Seconds later the laser started cutting through the unusually dense shaytanite while various measuring instruments monitored every little change inside the security chamber.
For a long time the jinns had cared for nothing but their technological and scientific progress. Convinced that everything around them could be summed up and explained with a few mathematic formulas, only very few still believed in supernatural powers. Occasionally though there were jinns born with unusual abilities and a group of scientists soon formed to study these phenomenons.
At first, all went well. The scientists discovered a material called shaytanite, which allowed a jinn to remain in non-corporal form for a longer period of time, which increased the anticipated average life dramatically. Then more and more jinns seemed to develop psychic abilities and the group of scientists was suspiciously quick to dismiss the idea that it was a side effect of sleeping in shaytanite containers. It must have been around that time when they stopped reporting to the public, a short time later they vanished altogether, along with their entire lab and about half of the jinns they had been studying before their disappearance. The rest of them was found dead in the otherwise empty lab.
The Resistance was still young then, consisting of the few who had always suspected that there was more to this scientific project that met the eye. Even before the scientists disappeared there had been traces of a secret religious cult started to show up, a group of fanatic elitists that would later be known as the New Ahriman Order.
The Resistance found out that not only most of the missing scientists had been members of this cult, but also a frighteningly high number of politicians and high-ranking military personnel. This was when the Resistance started building several underground bases and preparing for war.

The laser switched itself off automatically after it had completed its task. For a few seconds all measures kept showing nothing out of the orinary, but then one after the other shorted out. Eventually, small tendrils of smoke crept out of the hole that had been cut through the sealed cap of the flask. They quietly flowed down the table and formed a puddle on the floor.
The scientists huddled closer to the screens as Bahadir switched cameras to get a better view of what was going on inside the chamber.
"I think it's a jinn," Masoumeh, the linguist of the group, finally murmured, not really believing what she saw. And indeed, a female jinn materialised out of the smoke, very slowly, as if she was struggeling with the process. She wore a cropped silk top and matching belt, a ridiculous amount of jewellery and a veil that covered the lower half of her face. Her hair was tied into a high ponytail. A perfect example of the traditional attire even the current generation's grandparents only wore for special occasions now.
She looked around for a second, then shielded her eyes from the bright artificial light. Bahadir turned off half of the lamps inside the chamber and the female jinn winced, apparently expecting to be attacked any second. Her eyes kept flicking to the flask that had been her prison for so long.
Masoumeh activated her microphone. The jinn inched away from the crackling speaker on the ceiling and narrowed her eyes.
"Please don't be frightened, we are not going to harm you," Masoumeh whispered. The room was silent for a moment.
"I don't think she understood you, Masou," Bahadir remarked. Masoumeh tried several of the older dialects she knew but each time she spoke the jinn in the chamber seemed to become more and more irritated by the fact that she could not see the person talking to her. She started yelling at the speaker in frustration but still nobody recognised her language.
Suddenly one of the elders rushed through the door, stared at the screens for a second and pushed Bahadir out of the way to activate a button on the keyboard. The shaytanite wall that separated the scientists from the chamber slid down, leaving only a thick glass pane between the two rooms. The jinn spun around and stared at the scientists and particularly at the elder who was now slowly approaching the glass pane.
She returned the traditional greeting he offered but the skepticism never lefther eyes.
"Welcome back, ancient one," the elder greeted her in her own language, though it sounded somewhat awkward in her ears. "My name is Farsheed and you have nothing to fear from us." She dematerialised long enough to pass through the glass. Everyone except Farsheed moved to the farthest corner of the room. She watched them in mild surprise and the whole group froze and slowly turned around to her. She tried a small smile and turned back to Farsheed.
"My name is Soheila. Tell me, son, what is this place?"
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Dubbed Yosef by Asa.
Because Asenath was Yosef's wife.


Keeper of Zaebos' glasses.
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Tamir



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1629
Location: Israel

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, makes a lot more sense now. You're right, the first part should have been obvious, I'm just not very smart. ^^;;

As far as the story goes, Bel as a scientist is strange to me. I mean, he's a planet, he should be able to just create things like Shaytanite. It's particularly strange to me if he's only experimenting on his own children in the laboratory, less so if he's already stealing other children from Earthsong.

As far as writing goes, I think something that contributed to my earlier lack of understanding is that Bel doesn't really act like Bel. Looking around frantically? Gaping? He has no mouth! Confused Things like that make me unsure that I understand it even now.
I'm also unsure as to why Bel let Soheila just sit all this time, but I suppose that might be made clear in the next part of the story.

As far as posting goes, double posting is bad! Razz Please refrain from doing it in the future. You can simply edit your previous post in order to add to it.
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Asenath83



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Erm, sorry for the double post, I didn't think of that, just wanted to post separate chapters in individual posts.

The whole science thing just popped up in my head as Bel just recently created his children and I am a firm believer in the element of chaos, which means even a planet might not fully know which traits and weaknesses his children might be able to develop.

Thanks for the input though!
_________________
Dubbed Yosef by Asa.
Because Asenath was Yosef's wife.


Keeper of Zaebos' glasses.
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Tamir



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1629
Location: Israel

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I might have forgotten to mention that I like the story. It's fun! Smile Especially how it jumps forward in time, gives it a bigger scope. I'd like to see more of it.
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